There is a pregnant pause before something happens. A quiet moment where the whole universe seems to be inhaling in anticipation of the next big chapter or step. No matter how huge or small that moment is, I've become very aware in my life of this pause, this part that seems frozen in time if but for a second. This slight period as you prepare to shed the skin of who you were before and step gracefully into who you will become. We are always ready for this next step, as scary, or as exciting as it might seem at the time. We have trained, learned, grown, enough to get to this part in our life, this transition, this step off the cliff where you will learn how to fly.
The hardest part, I think, is allowing yourself to also take a minute to enjoy it. Even as aware as I feel about these life changing events, I don't know if I realize that I am holding my breath when I am. I've looked back after the fact and have been able to spot it, the one day, hour, or second where I enjoyed the calm before the transformation, where I was happy, laughing, full. For many the next chapter seems like the big part, the part where you are in a new place in life always seems like the focus. I like to try to enjoy the chrysalis, savor the quite pause that marks the end of hard work before the next beginning and journey begins, I like to try to slow it down and just be in the moment.
Maybe it's the way our culture is set up, we hear the universe was created in a bang, we hear about the engagement but immediately ask when the wedding will be, we ask when a baby is due- what it's name will be - the second we see a pregnant woman and often forget to cherish how in love the couple still looks and how we felt about them on their wedding night, or ask if they will have another kid not long after their first kid is born.
They say that careers, like love, and many things in our lives, is a series of small things that added up over time. You don't get to be the boss by walking in on the first day and declaring you want the job, it takes years of proving yourself, of learning and growing, of working hard and advancing up the ranks. I vividly remember when I knew I was friends with all of the close girlfriends in my life, the exact second I realized I was comfortable sharing an experience, or a special part about myself, or that I couldn't imagine not going to them for a vent session or to get some advice. Christina and I had talked to each other about photography for over a year before we ever stumbled out on a photo adventure together, and it would be years still before I asked her to be my second shooter. Our small conversations lead to bigger talks, eventually lunch dates, conference hangouts, until I couldn't imagine not seeing her at least once a month, and chatting with her on and off most days.
I still hold dear the memory of realizing I was in love, on the side of a mountain, in the sunshine, looking for historical ruins with someone that loved that side of my personality and fostered it. It wasn't just that I was supported by someone that saw what made me happy, it was all the things that had gotten us to that place, it wasn't extravagant date nights - because we didn't have them - or because I was being taken care of - we both put as much into the relationship - it was the fact that this person knew from the inflection in my voice when I wasn't okay and wanted to know why, that they sat patiently with a wide smile when I got excited about something and over explained it, that they knew my favorite podcasts and had them on for road trips and wanted to share their favorites with me. It was all the little things that lead to hanging from the side of a mountain with them. In that moment we moved from something we were to something we would be.
It is in this little life pause, we can enjoy all that lead up to where we are now before the next chapter begins.
Wisdom and Olivia knew they wanted maternity photos, but they also hate the cold. They had gotten married in a court house due to COVID, and hadn't taken many photos together, so when they found out they were expecting they were excited document the moment. Just when they thought it was time to book their session, winter rolled in. As they waited patientmy for the arrival of their newest family member, we held our breath for a pocket of warm weather in which to document this special times in their life. My biggest goal was to give them a moment to just enjoy each other, to freeze one hour for them forever in their memories and for sure in photographs. I did my best to capture this small part of their journey before the next big part began. We lucked out with snow but also sunny skies and coat free weather, and as I look back at these photos they remind me to take a moment more frequently to slow down and enjoy myself.
Yes, there is always something bigger and better we are waiting for. Yes, I'm sure many of you reading this want COVID to be over, or house prices to drop, or for it to be Friday, but I hope you remember to also live in this moment right now. Enjoy the little things it has to offer, and the ways it is helping you grow. You will get to that next place, don't be rushed to get there too quickly.
